Day 39...

I just had to thank those of you who have commented on my blog. Your comments uplift and inspire me. It is good to know I have the support network I need right now, but it is also good to know I have you all to own up to if I don't achieve what I have set out to achieve.

I have missed an entire week of running. I remember as a child my dad would come home from a rough day at work a huge grouch. We all couldn't wait for him to go on his run for the day, not because we wanted him out of the house, but because he would come back from his run a totally different person. I am learning the value of that now. I used to view "me time" as time alone doing anything. But I realize now "me time" is the time I get actually doing something for myself. Vegging on the couch just doesn't cut it anymore. Not only does it clear my head but it provides me with the satisfaction of just feeling better. Needless to say, I have been a grouch this week. I'm tired, I'm lonely and I want my husband back. Not only for the emotional stability he provides my children, but for the chance he gives me to do something for myself. I feel selfish in expressing this, but it's true. As moms we give all we have and it is nice to dispense that service to ourselves on occasion.

So I'm looking forward to Harvey returning home for many reasons, but one reason being for his babysitting services!:)

Day 38...

Still waiting for a chance to run!

Day 35...

I just realized that I have 4 months to train for my half marathon. I know I can run the 13.1 miles but I want to be able to get a P.R. So I better get on it. My best time is 1:53, and who really cares about the seconds. At this point it seems like a long shot, but I can't wait for training to start. I love having my sights on a goal.

Harvey is out of town all week. It is impossible to get a run in when he is gone. It is impossible to get any exercise in when he is gone. Whenever I plan for it something inevitably gets in the way. For instance, I planned to exercise this morning at 6:00 before all the kids got up. But what happens? Emma decides that at 6:02 she was going to wake up! So maybe I should just stop planning and take the moment when it comes. It seems that with every week I miss, it takes 2 weeks to make up for it. I may have to take Emma and Rylie to the gym's babysitting area and run on the dreaded treadmill. Ugh, I hate that thing, oh and I hate the babysitting area! Could they at least pretend they like their job?!

Day 31...

I killed the scale. I vanished it from my life forever! Well maybe not forever, but for a long, long time! I spoke to my very wise mother about my lack of weight loss and she said I am too stressed out about the weight, focusing on it too much. It is crazy how I can feel good about everything, weigh myself, and my high is instantly diminished because of a number. I walk away from the scale feeling like a whale. So I told it off and it is in time out for a whole month! Take that! Now I can run, lift and do crappy P90X without the "weight" of the scale on my mind. Hopefully this will help me in my journey focus on what is really important. A healthy body and mind, not a number!

Although after having said all this. My body has started to change. I have lost all my boobs! What! The one thing I didn't want to lose. It doesn't seem deserved after the sacrificing of my body to 5 children, but if it means my butt and thighs are to follow suit, I'll take it!

Day 24...

0 weight loss! 0!!! The big fat "0", is now defining me and I hate it. I have worked hard but the sugar still wants to consume my thoughts and all to often I give in. I still can't fathom how or why I haven't lost any weight though. Eating less, Check...Exercising more, Check...Eating more healthy, Check. So why! I am beginning to feel paranoia creep in. I will stick to it though, for I am starting to see benefits in other areas. My running has gotten easier. It is now something I crave everyday. Although it can't be achieved every day (5 kids is a lot and Spring Break doesn't help), but I love it. I feel better afterwards and although I may not be losing any weight I am beginning to feel more healthy overall. So I will continue to exert myself moving forward and striving to conquer my sweets addiction!

Day 16...

I found a running buddy! What a difference it makes when you find the perfect partner. We are on the same level and for that very reason we push each other . I am a social runner and although running alone gives me time to reflect and think about everything I don't have time to think about, running with someone else makes it more enjoyable and my favorite part; the time flies!